Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve, ham is in the oven, and we're all finally at home. Ray got to work today and didn't get home until after 4.

I'm almost in just a bah humbug type of mood. We have 2 Christmas' to go to tomorrow, and I'm really not looking forward to it. I would much rather just stay home. I'm concerned about having to pump while at Ray's dad's house. Of course, Ray, being the 'caring' person that he is said "well, just go pump in the bathroom'...Are you fuckin' kidding me? Who the hell wants to sit in someone elses bathroom and pump for 30 minutes?? I sure as hell don't! That's rather disgusting if you ask me. Also, we don't have to be there until noon...yet he wants to be there at 11. WHY?! I guess we'll leave when my boobs say we can leave. I would rather be there as little as possible. I know, that's just terrible to say, but we're talking about me having to drag my pump all over the place and I would rather not have to pump while I'm there.

Then after his dad's we're going to his moms....oh joy. From what Ray keeps saying is that almost everyone is staying the night out there...but I really don't see that happening since we all have kids and a house full of them just isn't going to work.

Anyway, we're more then likely going to be having our little Christmas here tonight, then we'll just sleep in, in the morning because I guess we have to get ready to go rather then spending time with our OWN kids.

Man I'm just babbeling now. Anyway, I just want to stay home. I know I don't have much gas in the car, so I guess we'll have to see if the gas station is even open tomorrow. I would think they would be...I mean, it's a gas station. But it's Christmas.

Ok, so little William has definately started to fill out some. He's still a smaller guy, but he's definately gaining weight. He's taking about 3oz of breastmilk every feeding now.

Breastfeeding

I will say, reading about girls having trouble breastfeeding on the bump, makes me feel a little bit better. I remember when I was trying to breastfeed Colby, it seemed like everyone who was breastfeeding was successful at it and I was the only one who had given up. I felt like a complete failure at the time because I felt like the only person who just couldn't get breastfeeding down. It made the situation that much worse.

So, to all my friends and fellow bloggers who may just read this, let me just say. NEVER, EVER feel bad because you're body isn't doing what you want it to do. Don't let yourself get stressed out over it. Breastfeeding IS HARD! Pumping is a chore, and your boobs become heavy and sore and your shirts will get soaked from leaking when you don't want to pump. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for not continuing to breastfeed or pump. You just kindly say, "it didn't work out" and let it be.

I am breastfeeding again, and I feel like I'm doing better this time around. BUT I also am a little stressed out because I still have to get up and pump even when I bottle feed the little man. BUT I am doing better because I now have a great stash built up and I also have a pump that makes getting up in the middle of the night a little easier. Also I am happy to say that William has only had formula when he was at the hospital. He did have one formula bottle here at home, but that was on the first day and he hasn't had formula since.

I have to admit, I was really hesitent to even consider breastfeeding this time around, mostly because I was having so much trouble with Colby when he was that age. I'm glad I decided to give it chance.

I just hope everyone that does try breastfeeding, don't give up right away. But if you find yourself becoming stressed out & depressed, then don't continue. You will feel much better knowing that your child is getting fed rather then sitting and panicing because you're unsure if you're producing enough.

Anywho....I guess I'm just rambling now. Tomorrow is also a Packer game and I'm excited for that! OH YES! I also got my car fixed...FINALLY! haha.

Ok, Merry Christmas everyone!! And a very Happy Holidays!